I was going to die, sooner or later, whether or not I had even spoken myself. My silences had not protected me. Your silences will not protect you…. What are the words you do not yet have? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language.
I began to ask each time: “What’s the worst that could happen to me if I tell this truth?” …Our speaking out will irritate some people, get us called bitchy or hypersensitive and disrupt some dinner parties. And then our speaking out will permit other women to speak, until laws are changed and lives are saved and the world is altered forever.
Next time, ask: What’s the worst that will happen? Then push yourself a little further than you dare. Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end.
And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.
Black women wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see Black women. White women wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see women. White men wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see human beings.
Smith’s ill-conceived action sends a message to all our youth that there is an acceptable and valid time to assert your gender identity, and that moment is after you are accepted to college and not a minute before.
The unfounded fear that young children will somehow become “impure” if they learn about a dirty subject like sex is deeply rooted in American culture. Our society assumes that human sexuality is dark, dangerous, and shameful — something we need to protect teens from, rather than teach them about. Teens consistently learn that it’s not okay to talk about sex because it’s supposed to be totally off-limits to them, constrained to the bounds of a traditional marriage. But this attitude has led to disastrous consequences: damaging women and LGBT Americans’ sense of sexual self-worth, fueling the STD epidemic, and creating a moral environment where rape culture has flourished.
Um, tattling is when a little girl does it. When a hot woman does it, it’s called whistle-blowing.
(don’t miss the Grace Jones video at the end, either)
Please help me fundraise for The Visibility Project! Support the stories and lives of API/South Asian Queer and Transgender people. My goal for 10 donations by April 16h will help support is project to record/photograph/support more queer Asian and pacific islander QTs.
I can personally vouch for the awesomeness of both the cuts and of Khane.
This is how I learned about Camera Ready Kutz. It was the first professional cut I’d gotten in 9 years (and first time in 6 or 7 that someone other than me had cut it). When I think about getting my haircut, I always get nervous about how I’m gonna be read, and eventually give up.
I didn’t this time and I’m so glad I did.
Find out more about CRK (and see some pictures of Khane’s awesome work) here: camerareadykutz.com